Sunday, August 21, 2011

Worst tanning place ever.

Ever wondered how it feels like being cooked alive? Well I haven't. But somehow I got to experience something very similar to that just recently anywho. It all started yesterday really. My mate and I decided to go clubbing. For real this time. So whiskey was bought, VIP-passes to the biggest place in town was fixed, and alcoholic beverages were drunk. Only bad thing about this totally awesome night was that I managed to step in the only puddle of water for miles on the way down there. And with puddle I mean treacherous hidden sinkhole filled with water. It was so deep it probably had it own ecosystem down there. Needless to say my foot, and part of my leg, got drenched. But i was drunk so I didn't really care. The rest of the night progressed like they usually do with some drinking, dancing and winking at girls. Only thing out of the ordinary was that the security guard seemed high and asked if I was related to the prince of Sweden. I told him that I was and he let me pass.

But anything that goes up must come down eventually. Which leads me to today. I woke up around 12 pm or so and the first thing that I asked myself was if something had crawled into my mouth and died. The second thing was why my friend were blasting music like he just figured out that his amplifier goes up to 11. So I decided that the best thing to do was to wake up, take a smoke, and then jump on the next bus home So that I could get some real sleep. Said and done. 

After being home for like an hour or so, just watching different TV-shows and drinking huge amounts of water, I got the crazy idea that I wanted go tanning. Probably because my sis, who was visiting, said "hey, lets go tanning" and I said "fine, whatever".  So we go to this place I've never been to before, thinking that i'd be like my regular place. It was not. First lemme tell you about my regular place. It's in a girls gym, so there's always a cute girl working in the reception. You pay for your room, which is fairly large, with it's own shower, huge fan, huge mirror and even a hairdryer. I never use the hairdryer myself, but it's a nice touch. But the most important thing is that the rooms are always cool. Like, temperature wise. Tanning there is very relaxing, like going to a spa or something. Now let me tell me about this other place. First of all, it's fully automated, so you go in using a card, and then enter this incredibly warm room. There's like a couch where you wait for one of the seven tanning booths to get available. I was gonna write rooms first, but those things are way too small to be called that. So it was either booths or torture chambers. Anywho, it's incredibly warm and smells of that tanning smell you get, just in the lobby. So I'm like, "well, they probably got a fan or something inside the booth". They didn't. I paid for my time using some automated coin thinge, went inside my booth, and started the machine. The room/booth was like 2x3 meters, so it didn't take long for the 2400w of ultraviolet light to warm up the booth like an oven. That, and the fact that I was hungover made me sweat like a pig. I actually had to go up and dry myself and the table off once, after like 15 min, due to sweating like a pig. Another 15 min and the time was final up. But I wasn't up for anything. Took me another five just to get my pants and shit on. Felt like I was going to die. 

So today's tip is: Don't go tanning when you're hungover. And don't visit places that's trying to kill you due to heat exhaustion.

That's all from me today. Be well

26 comments:

  1. You're related to the prince of Sweden? Doesn't that make you the prince of Sweden? O_o I don't tan myself, maybe I would if I went to a tanning place, but I'm not about to do it myself.

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  2. It's best just not to do anything with a hangover.

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  3. great info thx for sharing mate

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  4. does winking at girls work for you? they find it creepy when i wink at them.

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  5. I live in northern Mexico, so I know how it feels. D:

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  6. You should have stayed home and played video games! They are always fun when drunk or sober!

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  7. I'm more for the old fashioned burn your ass in the sun type of guy.

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  8. I love the feel of the sun on my skin. I never go to tanning beds. :D

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  9. I woke up hung-over this morning, but in that "I'm still drunk from last night" happy kinda way & decided I would mow the yard...bad mistake

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  10. Or simply never go tanning. Who does that?! :P

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  11. Best tanning place ever is the beach!

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  12. hahahaha! you're really something =))

    Anyway, I'm so sorry for the shoutout! I entered the wrong name, instead of Michael, I entered Mark :(
    -it was an honest mistake :(

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  13. Lets answer some comments!

    @Mark: I'm really not, i just said yes so that he'd let me thru faster.

    @-E-: Yes, yes it does :)

    @Inverse, @thetruthaboutGENETICS. @my day in a sentence, @Nether Critic: I'd love to get my tan by just being in the sun like it's suppose to be. But I live in sweden. We don't have any sun here. It's been raining for almost 20 days now. And i'm not even joking. I can't remember the last time I saw a clear blue sky.

    @Mai: It's ok, my name when i comment on your blog, for some reason, is Mark Westside. I liked Westfield tho, sounds cool.

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  14. Mike! ^__^
    already changed it. gosh! that was a shame really ^_^
    and thank you for being cool with it.

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  15. haha i am more of a beach person... get drunk on the beach.. go out.. wake up.. back to the beach!

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  16. I can't imagine many things being fun while hung over.

    And I prefer to maintain my pale glow thanks. :P

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  17. yea be sure to drink lots of water :O it sounds like quite the place though, very fancy.

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  18. Bad things happen to you when you are drinking man! Drink water and try and not do that to your skin again :)

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  19. I will take that tip to heart

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  20. my advice is: don't do anything at all while hungover. just drink more and try to sleep afterwards, worked for me atleast

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  21. lmao sweating like a pig. this read was too fucking funny!

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