Bathroom surpise

So I was going to the kitchen just recently. Was going to get some food to settle my upset stomach after another night of heavy drinking. And then I notice one of my cats standing completely still, watching the bathroom, like he's in predator mode. And I'm like "wtf?" and go to check out what he's staring so intensely at.  I get into the bathroom and can't identify anything abnormal in there. And then something HUGE and FLYING came at me like a fucking death projectile. And it scared the shit out of me. The flying thing of terror continued its flight into the rest of the apartment where it narrowly avoided death by cat. It took about 15 minutes to get it into safety and released. Fun stuff.

Just look at those claws!

In other news, had some fun yesterday, but that'll have to wait until I find the photos/videos of it. But I can give you some spoilers and say that a lot of alcohol, and a tattoo machine, was involved.

My phone hates me.

I just got home from another wonderful day in college. It's like the school stuff never ends. But at least we got to change it up a bit.

First point of the day was to do some marketing research for a paper that I'm writing together with two other guys from my class. So the plan was to meet up in the center of the city to ask people about their shopping habits and such at around 9:30. I was late. And I'm the guy living literary 3 minutes from the meeting spot.  Somehow my phone had decided to die during the night for no apparent reason. So when I finally woke up at about 9:15 it took about two seconds to go into panic mode. But they didn't seem to mad about it. The whole questioning thing took like 90 minutes. Might not seem that much but this is Sweden we're talking about here. Our freezing weather means that we have to be constantly moving so that we don't die from hypothermia. And keep an eye out for stray polar bears. They've become more of a nuisance in later years. I blame global warming. 

And I'm not doing this anymore. Writing about my day I mean. I can't even type the text out without throwing something about frigging polar bears in there to make it even remotely interesting. We all know that school is pretty damn boring to talk about. It's like listening to someone talking about their work. And I know I for one hate that. Couldn't care less. The only exception here is if it's a pretty girl doing the talking. Then I'm fine with it.

Well since this post doesn't have anything of real value, please enjoy this random link:

And this one:

ENJOY IT!

Market Research

As you all know, I'm currently enrolled in some economics classes in college. And we learn all kinds of stuff, ranging from how to read a company's balance thingie to awesome marketing techniques. So I decided to put some of this new found knowledge to the test and apply it to my blog. Because you know what they say: "Utan spaning ingen aning!" And if you don't, google it.

Anywho, after doing some extensive research of the market, which is to say that I checked out the ten most popular blogs on another site, I've come up with that I'm doing this all wrong. Here's a list of the things that needs improving.

• Pictures: Something that I've noticed is that you should have at least 2 pictures per post. The bigger the better. People don't like to read. They want to see pictures. Of blond girls with boobs.
• Gender: I'm the wrong gender. I need to fix that somehow. I was thinking something like implants and a wig. This alone should boost traffic with 300%
• Text (style): Text should be kept to a minimum. And no spelling is allowed. In fact, some post don't have any text at all!
• Text (content): It's kind of hard to have any content at all since there's nothing written. But in the odd occasion that someone has written more than one sentence it's usually about bashing people that are different. Feminists love to do this. And there's a surprisingly large amount of feminist blogs on the internet.

So the conclusion here is that I need to write less, be mean to random groups of people when I do write something, unlearn how to spell, have a shitload of more pictures and change gender. I think my blog will look something like this in the future:

Link of the day: Portal

Fast link of the day. Anyone who's played the portal game will should like this.

AWESOME PORTAL LINK

Just open that baby, put your browser in fullscreen, sit back and enjoy.

For you non-portal players out there... guess you'll have to wait for my next post. Sorry.

Filler

I'm really struggling to come up with something to write about. My past week has pretty damn uninteresting. This doesn't mean that I haven't done anything. Just that it's stuff that I really don't care writing about. I doubt you guys want to hear about my latest school assignment or how I handle a normal migraine attack. Then again, there's more prescribed morphine involved in one of those than most persons get in a year. I might do a migraine post some day when I got it fresh in my memory. The thing about pain is that it's the worst thing in the world when you're experiencing it but it's hard to remember how it actually felt once it's over.

Anywho, just writing to let you, my loyal fans, out there know that I am in fact not dead. And in normal filler fashion, I'm giving you some nice YouTube clips.

Bill gates is jumping over a chair! Best clip on the internet to this day.

That guy never cease to amaze me. Creating microsoft, jumping over chairs, what can't he do?

Actually, I don't think I can top that one. Be well y'all.

Today I failed as a man.

So I was in school right. I'm in school a lot nowadays. Just doing schooly stuff like coming up with new ways to extend sentences so that I can fill up those 10 pages of work I have to do without actually doing any research. It's not that hard really. Take this sentence:

I enjoy pie.

It does it job of informing you that I like pie. It's short, concise and gets the job done. Now if I'd write it in a school paper it'd look something like this:

Something I truly enjoy here in life, in ways of food, is one of those things you often can buy in restaurants after a meal. You can even make them at home if you got the skill and know-how. I am of course talking about the wonderful invention called pie. 

Those two sentences basically says the same thing. The difference thought is that one sentence consist of three words while the other got over 50 in it. Another thing I've learned is that graphs and tables makes it look like you've written a lot more than you've actually have.

That's half a page right there.

Anywho, about the whole "failing as a man thing". Me and me mate went have some lunch. So I decided to order a nice hamburger with fries. I could make the rest of this post about how ridiculous long I had to wait for my food to get done. But I wont. I'm just happy that I got it before the polar caps melted and thus flooding the place since I didn't bring my swimsuit with me. So I get the food right. And it wasn't bad. Some nice fries, juice burger and all that. But I couldn't finish it. After eating half of it I got that feeling you usually get after eating a whole pizza. At that point I went through the five stages of grief.

First came denial. I thought to myself "you can do this! It's just a burger. You can't be full yet!" 

Then anger: "I paid for this burger and I will well damned eat it!" 

After that came bargaining: "What if I start of with the french fries and lead my way up to it? Then it'll be okay right? Right?"

Depression: "I don't even care anymore about anything. What's the point?"

And last acceptance: "It's going to be okay. I'll just get another burger another time and eat the whole thing. It's no big deal."

God damn burgers.

'Cause the music makes me feel like you...

...when I see that look on your face. Ok, so imagine this people. You're in a great mood. Dubstep out of this world is playing so loud that things are falling down from shelves three rooms away. You take a sip of your whiskey and it goes down your throat like liquid gold. Made from barley, awesome and win. As the whiskey burns in your stomach you get the feeling that nothing could be better in this world. In fact, it's beautiful, awesome and perfect.

This is me right now. I just got out of the shower, I'm cleanly shaved. I'm dressed in denim and I'm feeling awesome. The only thing I need to find now is my hat and this night will indubitably be as awesome as I feel right now.

This is what dreams are made of.

EDIT:

If you came here looking for the lyrics for Modestep - Feel Good I'm truly sorry. This is just my blog. You can find the lyrics over here thought: Modestep - Feel Good lyrics!