Saturday, July 30, 2011

Conclusion

Yeah, so I'm home after drinking hard liquor for two days. And I've had some fun. I've been called Pete Dorothy, a friend tricked me into believing that I suffered from some kind of psychosis, I almost got scared to death by a stuffed toy and more. But before I get into all that, let me start with the tip of the day:

Be careful with how much you drink if you've been working 8 hours in the heat without any real food. Seriously. Before I began this latest bender I had done just that. Was outside in the blistering sun, it was around 30 degrees C (86 F), and all I had to eat was a Billy's pan pizza for the whole day. For you who don't know what this is, I'll tell you. It's a piece of cardboard with some cheese on.
This does not substitute food.
So, understandably, it didn't take much alcohol to get me absolutely shitfaced. I'd estimate the amount to around 8-10 units or so. Anywho, we were sitting at my friend at the time, until we decided that we'd had enough booze, and began walking down town to hit bars. This is also when my memory began to get blurry. Don't remember much of the walk down, except that we found an ugly hat, and that we pretended to call in fake snipers to take people out for some reason. I have no idea why or how it even started.

We got down to the bar at around midnight and proceed to order some beers and just have a good time. And this old guy, and I mean really fucking old guy, started to talk to me. Normally I would've just snubbed him off, because you know, why in the world would I want to talk to someone like that. But this time I decided to be somewhat polite since he was sitting with some pretty hot girls which seemed to be around my age. This turned into trying to suppress my rage when he said that I looked exactly like Pete Dorothy. I guess it's a step up from being called Justin Bieber, but still. I don't know why people always try to piss me off when I go out. 

Don't really remember much more from this night. Turned out that the old guy was just some lonely old guy who happened to sit at the girls. Them girls also turned out to be kinda bitchy. So we moved on. A couple of blackouts later and I was back lying in my friends couch. Trying to make my head stop spinning. 

This was day one. I'd say i had fun on overall. But the first hours of the second day was hell. I'm prone to get migraines after drinking. We'll I'm prone to get migraines all the time really, and I'm heavily medicated against them, but alcohol is one of those extreme triggers. So I was lying there in the couch, my head still spinning, gobbling up pain killers like they were candy. It got a lil' better after noon sometime when I managed to get some food inside me without throwing up. 

Being hungover is a bitch.

Not much happened that day. I went down town again around six to acquire some more alcohol, swing by the tanning salon, and visit the store. Met my sister while I was down there. Offered her a cigarette and took one myself. But, as is always does when you try to light a smoke, the wind started to blow. So I took cover behind a large tree I was standing close to. And that's when I saw it. A huge fucking rat. I released a very manly yell as I saw it, going into a warrior position ready to fight, before I realized that it was a stuffed toy. Eyewitnesses said that my manly yell was more of a girlish scream, but they were probably in chock as well. We will never truly know what happened on that day. Moving on.
That shit is not to be messed with.
Well, after missing the bus a couple of times, I finally got back to my friends apartment, and we resumed the drinking. The plan was to wait for a third guy and then head out. So we drank and talked while watching some good old 24. Didn't really catch much of the show more than Jack Bauer being fucking bad ass. But then, as I was out taking a smoke, my mate decided to play a trick on me. But first, let me tell you about his apartment. It's really fucking small. It's like a room, a hallway, a kitchen and a balcony. And a toilet ofc. Anyways, I was sitting on the balcony, having a smoke, and talking with him. Just chilling. But then, when I got inside, he was nowhere to be found. Figuring he was just visiting the loo, I sat down in the couch waiting for him. And then I heard "Don't sleep." It sounded like it came from right next to me. But there wasn't a soul in the room. So I asked "Dude, where are you?" No response. So I continued watching the show when I heard this gurgling sound. You know like the one from the ghost in the grudge. Freaked me the hell out, so I decided to go looking for him. It didn't take long, because like I said, his place wasn't that big. But he just wasn't there. Decided that he'll probably show himself sometime and went back to the couch. He says "Don't sleep" a second time and I freak the fuck out. I yell "Where the fuck are you?!" while I take another look around the apartment. I even checked so that he wasn't invisible and sitting on the bed. Remember, I was really frigging drunk, it was late at night, and I was seemingly alone in the apartment. I thought that I had gotten
some case of alcoholic delirium or a psychosis or something. So I thought to myself: "Fuck it, I'll just go to sleep, fuck this shit." That's when he said "Don't you know where I am?" and I realized that he had been behind the door this whole fucking time. A good 20 minutes. He came out from behind the door laughing his ass off. Me, relived that I was not crazy, laughed just as hard.

Good times. Well, the third guy came along around 12:30 or something like that, so we decided to just stay home and talk shit the rest of the night. Woke up just as hung over as the day before, slept away most of the day, went home and took a shower. We were going to go for day 3 as well, but then we realized that our bodies were pretty much trashed, so we decided to push it up to tomorrow.

Well, that's my two day bender story. Might have another story for you guys on Sunday. Be well and drink responsibly. 

34 comments:

  1. Hangovers are absolutely VILE.

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  2. I got a friend who parties a lot, she says the fun far outweighs the hangovers. There is a point when it's time to stop drinking though lol. You know, until the next party.

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  3. Haha Pete Doherty... I guess you and your mouse have a Bohemian Love

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  4. Mm, pizza is good hangover food haha. So is scrambled eggs. Glad to hear you got totally drink.

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  5. Never miss a day partying, because life is about the interesting stories you have to tell.

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  6. Anything greasy tends to heal hangovers.

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  7. Before a bender like that, the only option is a good, ol' Full English Breakfast (no matter what time of day it is!)

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  8. If I eat pizza in a hangover, I die, literally...need fruit or something easy

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  9. Hangover is a bitch after parting for several days in a row. you have to pay the price to get a good story to tell.

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  10. nice post mate. got a good few laughs out of it :D

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  11. omfg, i would have freaked out too

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  12. at least you didnt have a hangover ^^

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  13. sounds like a a fun couple days, party on dude!

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  14. sounds like a pretty wacky trip

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  15. sounds like a bit too much alcohol, and a crazy adventure.

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  16. haha, sounds like you had a good time indeed!

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  17. I was at a Celtic festival today and it was 95F, and I don't know how much experience you have with the darker beers but man it was way too hot to be outside drinking today.

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  18. being drunk can do you that. try to stay more coherent next time. good job posting!

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  19. HA! It is five minutes to noon - after reading that, I think it is time for me to crack a beer!

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  20. We used to have pizzas like that at a shop near school. I remember we'd only buy them if we hadn't eaten for about a week. Who knows what's in them.

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  21. "Be careful with how much you drink if you've been working 8 hours in the heat without any real food. "

    this is true, did it once and threw up 8 times in a row =x

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  22. Soo cool. Soo trippy. Good to see your having such a blast mate.

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  23. my last one wasnt that bad but still its a bad feeling.

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  24. awesome story, don't know how i can relate to it but i found it funny. +follower

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  25. Crazy stuff. Be safe with the drinking man.

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  26. Sounds like you had a nice amount of drunk adventures!

    Makes me want to go out and cause a ruckus haha

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  27. thats nice, keep it up
    +followed

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