Thursday, October 6, 2011

Today I failed as a man.

So I was in school right. I'm in school a lot nowadays. Just doing schooly stuff like coming up with new ways to extend sentences so that I can fill up those 10 pages of work I have to do without actually doing any research. It's not that hard really. Take this sentence:

I enjoy pie.

It does it job of informing you that I like pie. It's short, concise and gets the job done. Now if I'd write it in a school paper it'd look something like this:

Something I truly enjoy here in life, in ways of food, is one of those things you often can buy in restaurants after a meal. You can even make them at home if you got the skill and know-how. I am of course talking about the wonderful invention called pie. 

Those two sentences basically says the same thing. The difference thought is that one sentence consist of three words while the other got over 50 in it. Another thing I've learned is that graphs and tables makes it look like you've written a lot more than you've actually have.

That's half a page right there.

Anywho, about the whole "failing as a man thing". Me and me mate went have some lunch. So I decided to order a nice hamburger with fries. I could make the rest of this post about how ridiculous long I had to wait for my food to get done. But I wont. I'm just happy that I got it before the polar caps melted and thus flooding the place since I didn't bring my swimsuit with me. So I get the food right. And it wasn't bad. Some nice fries, juice burger and all that. But I couldn't finish it. After eating half of it I got that feeling you usually get after eating a whole pizza. At that point I went through the five stages of grief.

First came denial. I thought to myself "you can do this! It's just a burger. You can't be full yet!" 
Then anger: "I paid for this burger and I will well damned eat it!" 
After that came bargaining: "What if I start of with the french fries and lead my way up to it? Then it'll be okay right? Right?"
Depression: "I don't even care anymore about anything. What's the point?"
And last acceptance: "It's going to be okay. I'll just get another burger another time and eat the whole thing. It's no big deal."

God damn burgers.

26 comments:

  1. Haha I have had the same feeling once xp
    great post

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  2. Like Louis CK says: "The meal isn't over when I'm full... the meal is over when i HATE MYSELF" haha

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  3. I'm glad to say I'm yet to fail to eat a burger, but when I have a lot of takeout, it is painful having to leave some of it, especially as you paid for it. I also love the way you lengthen sentences, it's a neat trick to know.

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  4. You should have made a pie chart.

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  5. Bersercules is so right.

    If I eat at McDonald's during school lunches, I have so little time to finish all of it, but I really do not want to throw anything away because as you say, I PAID for that stuff.

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  6. LOL~ "i paid for this..." so true

    just curious, why is it part of the men's code to finish everything on their plate?

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  7. I lol'd at this post. Nice one.

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  8. This is funny:) But i do the same thing. I hate leaving ANYTHING on my plate.

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  9. i heard these 5 stages of grief somewhere before... but where was that??
    cool post anyway ;D

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  10. what? a bar graph instead of pie graph? haha

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  11. Every time I've to write a report its exactly the way you describe it and don't worry you'll eat the next burger like a obese kid that's just released out of fat camp, I believe in you.

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  12. I thought this was going to be about romance. Glad to see it's not.

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  13. @Deso: Ha, romance, wrong blog mate ;)

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  14. Haha Pie/chart that made me laugh

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  15. haha love the pie chart! you will getem next time on the burger!
    +follow

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  16. Keep up the great work with your blog! You're very good at it!

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  17. I have yet to fail to finish a burger. You sir, get no pity.

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  18. that happens to me too when i eat burgers. sometimes i can't finish them if they're big and have many ingredients. but oh well, i like them anyways.

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  19. Happens to me when i eat Pizza... I could eat a whole pizza by myself, now after half a pizza im full :/
    Well you wheren't ready to eat a whole burger so... it happens. If your stomache shrinked then it is normal to feel full after a couple of bites.

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  20. Your powers are weak! Go train with the Great American Masters of Burgerjutsu and you will learn how to eat 5 burgers of the same size in one go and ask for extra fries.

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